Somewhere I Belong

Inspired by the movie, Raise Your Voice acted by Hilary Duff I watched just now so, I feel like writing this down before this inspiration is gone from my head. Another movie that is really meaningful, telling the world, the people that we should not gave up chasing our dreams. To believe that we can achieve the dreams we once made of and work towards it with strong determination. If I had not watched this movie, I guess I would have forgotten what my dreams are made of. I once wrote "Think BIG, Dream BIG, Achieved BIG” to inspire myself of having the passion about dreams in my life and believing that I could achieved what my dreams are made of,…and yet I could just let this fade away as time passes by though it is within the same year, it was the beginning of the year when I wrote about that post.

Not only dreams I had forgotten and put aside, I just realised from the movie that I even had forgotten who I really am. Not that I don’t even know my name or identity, it is just that I just realised I’m losing who I was before I entered uni and after I entered uni. Especially recent two months time, I just completely lost myself as who I was, I was living behind someone’s shadow once again for the past two months. The feeling of sense of belongings just isn’t it me at all for that particular moment. My friend, Ida is right, I didn’t realised my blog is all about ‘you’ instead about myself, CK where apparently this blog supposed to be something personal about me and my life. I completely wash out and keep blogging my about my feelings to ‘you’ but no point when ‘you’ are not reading at all.

I just realised for the past two months my world is about ‘you’ where my life is completely influence by ‘you’ deeply especially emotionally. My emotional can be so badly especially when I was thinking about ‘you’ till I lost my appetite, I am having insomnia, sleepless nights all the time or even break down when I was studying for exam. I just can’t afford to hold on this anymore for so many other semesters coming. It is really really killing!!!

No doubt there are times when I found myself in you, I gained my energy and motivational from you but is that who I truly found myself???

I never knew finding and knowing my true self could be such difficult. In my life I thought I knew who I was, who I am, what I truly want until this moment. I am so lost and I wish I could found myself back and stay away from all these unwanted hard moment of my life again. Every time, I thought I could do so, things just can’t stop happening and get in the way and it will just pull me back to square one. I just wish if there is someone by my side helping me when I am facing all these difficulties of my life, but there is no one out there for help.

Sometimes out of difficulties I found miracle. Somehow there is a ‘ray of light’ shining through my way, my destiny and things just get better. It is this ‘light’ that makes me won’t give up, won’t break down and stay strong even it goes wrong. Guess it is the ‘light of hope’, hope from my family to me to be a person they are proud of someday. But can I really do so?? Will I disappoint them someday and be someone they really can’t accept for who I am and what I am doing???,…..

Many had taught and I have learned this countless times, “it doesn’t matter what people say, it doesn’t matter how long it takes, and all you gotta do is to believe in yourself.” And that’s what makes me keep moving on till today. It is this believes in own self that’s makes a different in everyone including me and to have faith in everything you do. But it only matters if you be true to yourself and follow your heart. But how many people will be able to do that???
Well because of this inspiration, I hope from this moment on, I will be able to find myself, who I really am, where do I really belong to, and where do I really fit in,…all these questions in my mind will soon be answered, I hope. Lastly, let’s have a moment with the song by Hilary Duff – Someone’s Watching Over Me, a song from the movie. Till then,…

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Someone’s Watching Over Me

Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is just you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I won’t be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
Took this moment to my dreams

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That someone's watching over
Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over me

Someone's watching over me


~CK~