Fitting In

Be yourself

Road Not Taken (Penguin)

Road Not Taken (Penguin)

In LoVe oF OwN eNeRgY

 

Photo Source: CalmDeion

LeAvInG

 

Photo Source: Work is Life PH

Are we too busy for a friend?

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.
.
.
That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.
.
.
.
.
.
Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: 'Mark talked about you a lot.'

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'

Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.'

'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary'

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued：‘I think we all saved our lists'

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

And One Way to Accomplish This Is: Forward this article message on. If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the wonderful opportunity to do something nice and beautiful.

If you've received this article message, it is because someone cares for you, and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care.

If you're 'too busy' to take those few minutes right now to forward this article message on, would this be the VERY first time you didn't do that little thing that would make a difference in your relationships?

The more people that you send this to, the better you'll be at reaching out to those you care about.

Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own.

~May Your Day Be Blessed As Special As You Are~

Your FRIENDSHIP, is very precious to me!

~Thought of Doubts!!!~

I didn’t expect I would be writing this post a thought in my mind that been struggling and conflicting for the past few months. Ever since I was young, I was bliss to have grandma, aunt and my cousins to pamper me since I am the youngest among the cousin siblings. At the age 7, my whole life entirely changed. I never knew that the decision of my dad to move me back to KL had changed my life completely. Without his decision, I wouldn’t be in the government primary school studying Malay language as primary language for all the subjects instead of in the Chinese primary school. With my dad leaving before he could even see my achievement in UPSR result, it is another turning point in my life. I made up my decision to enter English cluster school that shape my life and defined me of who I am now. I never knew entering such top school with my second achievement in my PMR result can impact me so much!!!! The leadership and social skills gained from this school that leads to me now, to where I am now. Without all these achievements or experiences, I wouldn’t come this far until tertiary education, my current university and course I am studying now.  I was, I am still doing well in my study and skills achievement that I need as graduate engineer for the working world.

But at some point, I still doubt myself. Not only the doubt in me, but doubt of where I am now that would make my parents proud of.  Knowing my dad who lack of education since young, he would definitely be proud of my education level now. But to my mom, I am currently feeling lost. One moment I am feeling the love from her taking good care of me. But another moment, I feel so insecure with the lack of support or the support that never been expressed out by her makes me feel if I am doing it the right way. It seems like everything I did or said to her is meaningless and nothing special to her. The hard work I been doing for my study, my family, my home and my life seem useless to her eyes.  Sometimes, like I feel she never seems to appreciate all my hard work. My brother on the hand, never seem to put much effort to the family in the early years make me envy and jealous of his life and mom’s treatment to him. Mom always been treating brother like a prince of the house, fulfilling every request from him since young, and never been nagging him for not helping out in the family. It is a total opposite treatment to me. Why my mom needs to be so hard to me? Why she can be so unfair? Why I am always the one need to help out with chores and obeys everything said in the family? With much freedom given fairly to both of us, I still not feeling the freedom with the limitation given by mom compares to my brother. It is like he just can be and do anything, limitless freedom, but to me, I still have limitation in being or doing what I want. Even when we were infants in her womb, there is a huge difference in us. My brother been getting the good nutrients whereas I am only getting daily nasi lemak for nutrient. How can there is such a difference in us? We both are her children, but the treatment, the sickness (cataract and skin sensitive since young, glaucoma in recent years) where my brother is completely flawless and healthy and evens the look is so different!!! My brother and I are completely of two different looks. If we walk out to the public, any strangers could not even recognize us as brothers. With all these, I have this silly thought of me, and my brother is not biological related or even worst, I am thinking I might be adopted son. I don’t know why; I would have such thought. But it is really these doubts in me that bugged my mind over recent months.  I wonder when these thought of doubts in me will be clear!? I just hope what I think in my mind would not be a reality and if it is true, I wonder how myself would be handle it!? ~LOST!!!~

CK @,@!!!

I've DecIdEd!!!

Lately, I come across with mixed feeling again. A feeling that I should not emerges out. A feeling that I long forgotten how warm this could feel. But it’s this feeling that had long gone keeps my heart “frozen” for these 2 years.

I keep asking myself if I should have made the step forward. My brain asks me to, but my heart asks me not. I just can’t do it. Making such step need courage and that courage in me was long gone.

Recent I just wrote “In our life we need to have Hope, Faith & Believe. That's how Love exist & create Peace to our life and people around us!!!”

But I have decided, it is best things remain that way. This is for the good of both of us. Till I find my courage to love again, now I can only love my mom and my families unconditionally. However, you will always have an equal important spot like my surrounding close friends. If you need help and support, I will always be there and care for you.


CK

Get It Right!!!

What have I done?

I wish I could run,

Away from this ship going under

Just trying to help

Hurt everyone else

Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

 

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough

And all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions

Keep making a mess of things,

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?

 

Can I start again, with my faith shaken?

Cause I can’t go back and undo this

I just have to stay and face my mistakes,

But if I get stronger and wiser, I’ll get through this

 

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?

And all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

 

So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air,

And accept the truth that sometimes life isn’t fair!

Yeah, I’ll send out a wish, yeah, I’ll send up a prayer

And finally someone will see how much I care

 

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?

And all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take, to get it right?

To get it right?

 

This song really describe me from in and all out;

Seriously, what have I done? I always doubt myself with such question. My intention on doing anything was purely trying to help, but why in seem ended up hurting everyone else around me?

Am I too stubborn in making decision and action!?

With every action I had taken, I felt thousand tonne of weight is on my shoulders. Just like I am “Angel” and I ain’t supposed to make any mistake or wrong decision. It’s like everything I had done just ain’t good enough for people around me. Whatever situation I’m involved in, things just became worst. As if I am a creature with the ability of “touch of destruction”. With everything I touched, it tumbles down and destructed. That feeling was the worst feeling of all!!!

Sometimes the more I tried to fix, the worst it became.

How many times will it takes? How many times will it take for me to get things right??

Once?
Twice?
Thrice?
Or never?

Why? Why? Why?

Why can’t life be easy on me!?

Let me do what I want and I’m comfortable with. Stop judging me with my actions taken. Although now I would have not care other peoples’ judgment, but still,..I was once that person, a person who so afraid of other peoples’ judgment to the level I felt suffocated.

All I wish is someone out there whom I had helped with good intention and sincere heart will be able to see how much I care for you all,..

 

CK

I'm bAcK!!!

Yes!!! I'm back to my abandoned blog here. Can't recall what is the reason I abandoned the blogging life is. But I'm sure the reason I'm back.
 

I'm back for source of inspiration and motivation. Inspiration and motivation source search not from others but from me and my life.

I had long forgotten every moment I had written down in the blog is the source of inspiration and motivation. The appreciation of moment of my life is what keeps me going on.

Recent semester in final year, too much had happened. Many obstacles happened either from lecturer, study (exam, projects and assignments), course-mates or even roommates.  I had changed myself into the self-protective person. Being ignorance and silence to handle everything, including sleeping for very long hours, the long I mean is REALLY REALLY LONG for a day. I had chosen Forget Everything and Run first type of FEAR. Now it’s time for me to choose to the second type of FEAR (Face Everything and Rise).

I can’t let myself down anymore with all the negative incidents that happened. This recent month just really reminds me that I had long forgotten the lessons of life. Lessons that I knew long before but didn’t realise until now. I had been blinded by my emotion.  

With all the people and things that happened surrounding me recently, it’s important to remind myself once again that;

~ Never expect anything in return (helping in return) when you help others.

~ There are always no true friends or true enemies in life.

~ Do not compare yourself with others EXTREMELY.

~ Ignorance and silence and not commenting any further to certain statement is best way to handle it.

~ Appreciate and treasure with what you have in hand.

~ Believe in karma, believe in “Aal is Well” (Don’t let your heart have the feeling of fear and scared)

~ Have passion (sincere heart) in everything you do.

The list can goes on and on, I shall stop to where those are thinkable at this moment. It’s just a recall to myself that whatever decision and choices that had been made, never regret to it, because there will always be another outcome you would not expect. FEAR (Face Everything and Rise). Trust and believe in myself!!! “Gambatte!!!”

CK ^.^v

Hopes & Dreams (The Hippocratic Crush)

Each of us has dreams in our life. Some of us dreams for ourselves and some of us dreams for others’ satisfaction. But all this while, no one can be sure when these dreams can be achieved. If we are unable to achieve our dreams, should we continue with our determination? When we able to achieve our dreams, it gives happiness even how small the dream is. Life is full of hope once again when we able to achieve our dreams. But sometimes dreams are quite unpredicted, but we can say it is our source of life. It is like oxygen for our survival and our hearts need to have dreams to live life till the fullest. However, life does not come easy, The more hopes we put on our dreams, the more disappointment in return Where else, if there is no dream, there won’t be unnecessary suffering. Maybe dreams might cause suffering, but because of dreams we could able to overcome any obstacles. So, no matter how disappointed or painful we are, we must not lose our faith in dreams. William Shakespeare once wrote, dreams are the only medicine that could heal sorrow and pain. When you are in grief, dreams are like music that eases it away. It is happy moment when we able to achieve our dreams, but at times our dreams conflict with others; therefore we need to make sacrifices of either one.  However, no one but yourself could tell which you should choose. Some dreams might not relate to you. You will not understand why some are willing to sacrifice their life to achieve their dreams that do not have in return. But by using your heart to feel, you will learned to respect each and every dreams does not matter it is a small or big dream. No matters dreams bring you relieve, happiness or sadness, the ability to dream or to dream for is happiness in our life as we are still living in this world. Even no matter how many dreams will be emptied, we still able to find new dreams till the last moment of our life.

 

~On Call 36小時~

DrAgoNfLy

 

CK ;-p

~Lies,..~

Lies maybe seem bad and effected in many ways. But what if someone keeps telling white lies??? Does that take any effect? Can white lies remain not harmful even though it is a lie? Or a lie is a lie. No matter white lies or not, it shall not be told. But if that white lies helps to hold on to something, does that something worth to be hold anymore? Or should just let it be. Just let that white lies hold to it until maybe a deadline that might burst it off???,….

Conclusion: ~Clueless!!!~

 

CK ~.~

Hopes & Dreams

These are the pieces that made up of someone’s life. I was living a life full of hopes and dreams. Believing that if I put more hopes I will have my dreams come true. But as times goes by, these two of puzzles just disappear right in front of me. I become hopeless; dare not to hope for anything anymore because every time I hope for something, it just turns out to be a big disappointment to me in the end. Don’t even need to talk about dreams. Few days back I thought I found my hopes are coming back to make my dreams come true. But it seems like a fake hope. I keep lying to myself that these hopes can make my wishes or dreams come true, but it is the opposite. I got hurt rather than just disappointment. You gave me lights and hopes, and you took it away from me right at the moment I found most happiness of my life. I just not even know what to do, so I decided to do so. Decided to hide myself from you for couple of weeks, give myself time to figure if my feelings and hopes on you are still the same after time passes by. Though that dreams will never come true,…

CK

~Of Principles & Promises~

Which is more important????

Holding up principles that you once always believe in or to keep a promise that you find it hard to fulfil where the promise is conflict with the principle you hold up to.
I am confused and dilemma now, @,@!!!,….
 
Or should I set a timeline where if I can’t fulfil those promises by that period, I just gave up working so hard to fulfil those promises, because I HATE BREAKING PROMISES!!!


~ CK ~

~treasure for life~

Life really seem so fragile,
Even at the young age, death can occur at anytime,
Life is too short to be sad, depressed, angry with someone and to have more enemy in life,
Cherish all the things we have right now
And treasure your family and friends while still last,
As a saying

Family and Friends are hidden treasures, seek them and enjoy their riches

by Wanda Hope Carte

~ CK ~

~words for encouragement~

In everyone's life there comes a time

for reviewing for looking at who we are

and what the future has in store.

These times can be difficult and frightening

But they can also be very exciting.

 

Always remember that you are

a unique and a special person.

Treat every experience as a lesson learned.

Never allow yourself to be carried away...

Be positive.

Chart your journey and

head for your destination.

When you are faced with obstacle,

Don't give up. Look for a way around it.

CK ^.^

~friendship~

I'm So Glad
You're My FRIEND

Some people have a special gift,
for doing thoughtful deeds,

For offering encouragement,
that someone really needs

For knowing when to be there,
with a helping hand to lend...

 

CK

~taking the road less taken~

 

~journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step~

my journey started long ago, and countless steps I had taken to come this far.
 
one day, i walked along the beach and stop for a moment, looking backward and saw how many steps I had taken from the beginning of the journey.
 
though I can't say I had taken more steps than any other who are more senior to me,
 
but at least the journey I started and the road i had taken is always the one least taken,
 
until this moment, I am still taking the less taken road to move on my life, to face anything that comes along the road I choose ALONE!!!,
 
no one could help me but me, myself to find the inner strength to move on and overcome all the obstacles I am facing and about to face,

~ this is my life, this is my road of life~

~ CK ~

bLuE & ExCiTeD!!!

GOOD MORNING KL!!!,...

I guess this would be the last time I said and last post before I back to uni. Going back for this new reopen semester quite relaxing, I can’t believe though I am feeling a bit BLUE to go back uni but at the same time I am feeling quite EXCITED!!!,…Dunno why, maybe because I am no longer FRESHMAN!!! Where many juniors are coming in, or maybe I am getting used to the feeling of going back to NO MAN ISLAND UNI,…or maybe since I can crutch on Choy Chun Yeen, CCY (my roommate/course mate)’s car as he is driving back to uni, I won’t be feeling blue taking the bus back alone.

So, supposed to meet him at lrt station at 9.30am, end up I can’t wake up that early, so by time I went meet him to show him the direction to my house, it is almost 10am. Then we went for breakfast, my last breakfast in KL before back uni also. And just before we start our journey, CCY wanted to go Carefour to get some grocery stuffs for his reopen semester. So once everything settled, we started our journey quite late, about 11am something,…

And there we go 2 and half hours journey to Gambang. Once we reached uni, we quickly check in to our room, A4-T1-15 (room at first floor) at Kolej Kediaman 4 as to unload “half of our uni stuffs” from the uni to the room. Then, CCY went to the rented house in Gamabang to get his “other half or uni stuffs” back to the room just before we move on to Kuantan to get my “other half of uni stuffs” from Eric’s house. We barely have enough time to have a break, so we decided to pack McD for our late lunch in uni just before we START our cleaning and unpacking process!!!

After a long tiring day, we finally can rest well in a comfort room with two of us only since the other 4 roommates not back yet to uni till tomorrow afternoon. Till then,…









CK ;-p

ANTM cYcLe 13

Well well, somehow got the feeling to blog about ANTM since I been following the first cycle. Actually I started since Cycle 5 but I refollowed the previous cycles in youtube during the holidays when I got no other shows to watch. And so today I started watching the first two episodes of Cycle 13 which was aired last year August in US,..but got to know gonna start airing in ASTRO STARWORLD this coming Wednesday,...

Well what so special about this cycle???

Erm,...guess must be Tyra start open up this cycle specially for girls of height 5ft 7in and below. In the modelling world, models are meant to be edgy, beautiful, skinny and tall. Well since Whitney make history as the first plus size model to win in ANTM Cycle 10, so why not open up for short girls right???

So here are the top 14 finalist,...

Ashley


Bianca

~ Reminds me of Nenna from Cycle 6 because they both are bold and a bit of Bianca from Cycle 9 because she got a little bit characteristic like her.

Brittany


Courtney

~ Come as a broken leg cheerleader yet she nail in the photoshoot,...IMPRESSIVE!!!

Erin

Jennifer

~ Another Asian girl who got into ANTM finalist. Well but I doubt she can go far.

Kara

Laura

Lisa

~ She replace Amber who dropout last minute as finalist yet she been eliminated first,...Erm, disappointing,

LuLu

~ Reminds me of YaYa, runner-up from Cycle 3

Nicole

~ Awkward personality, she known herself as the "underdog" but I doubt that because she did good,....

Rachel

~ I consider her special in a way as her eyes quite big and round but if compared her with Allison's cute big eyes, runner-up from Cycle 12, she sure will lose,...

Rae

~ 2 thumbs up to her for wearing 8 INCH ballet heels yet she nailed in photoshoot and got THE BEST PHOTO OF THE WEEK,....

Sundai

~ She reminds me of Danielle, winner from Cycle 6 and her new hairstyle is so really like Rihanna,...Erm, wonder she will win like Danielle???


Well all the above pictures are before their makeover, so thier new look are much edgier and sophisticated like a model. And those without any comment from me, it is because I can't recall them much in a way. The impression not strong enough to me. Well, who will be the America's Next Petite Top Model???? I aint so sure since it is just the first elimination but,......I think Nicole and Rae will go far into top 3 perhaps??? Hopefully I am right in seeing these girls' potential,....


CK ;-p