mY nEw ChInEsE nAmE

 Yes, starting from today, I am using my new Chinese Name 葉致見 from 葉志堅. 

This new Chinese Name was one of the two names suggested by the Name Analysis Master back in 2003.

I used to use the other Chinese Name and slowly discover the other name doesn't seem to carry much meaning and doesn't seem to resonate to me. Then slowly I use back my original Chinese Name because the word 堅 is given from my belated aunt in hoping I will be firm and strong or do not give up.

Well at a point, I always believe as long as we are firm and strong, we do not give up we will be able to overcome any challenges. As I grow older, I realised, some challenges or things are not meant to keep going and not giving up. It is self hurting be it physically or mentally which eventually lead to burnout. Which is not healthy at all.

I am not forgetting my root or original name, it is a new name is what align with my current phase of life and original name is what bring me here to today. 

So, yea from today onwards I want to be a person attain vision as per my new Chinese Name, 致見.

hAppY bIrThDaY dAd!!!

Without realising, it was my dad's birthday today. I hardly celebrate his b'day when he was around. Only way I expressed my gratitude was giving present to him. Now I don't even have the chance to give present to him anymore. Well anyhow,..

Happy Birthday Daddy!!!

Thanks a lot for what you had given and left for me. I am glad you seeded my root strong in hometown and grow harder in KL as my real land. I got my root and I was, I am growing my branches now. Soon I will have my leaves and flower blossom. Till the day I make you proud of who I am, Dad,...

Here's a song I always remind myself of your teaching and guidance in my life before you left,...

So many things
To do and say
But I can't seem
To find my way
But I wanna know how
I know
I'm meant
For something else
But first
I gotta find myself
But I don't know how

Oh, why do
I reach for the stars
When I don't have wings
To carry me that far?

I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world
For me

Sometimes
I don't wanna feel

And forget the pain
Is real

Put my head
In the clouds

Oh, start to run
And then I fall

Thinkin'
I can't get it all
Without my feet
On the ground

There's always a seed
Before there's a rose
The more that it rains
The more I will grow

I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world
For me

Whatever comes
I know how to take it
Learn to be strong
I won't have to fake it
Oh, you're understandin'
The wind can come
And do its best
Blow me north, and south,
East and west
But I'll still
Be standing
I'll be standing

If I have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I'm gonna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world

I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith

To take chances
And live like I see
A place in this world
For me

 

CK 

人生有几个十年了？

Without realising ten years had passed. Just with a blink of an eye, my dad had left the family for ten years, my life without him for a decade!!! Can’t even recall when the year was that I stop relying on him and his caring, that trains me up to be such an independent person. But I am blessed that I got blessing from him. Blessing that ensures I can move on in my life every time I faced difficulties “Out of difficulties, makes miracles.” Sometimes to change the impossible to possible, it is not that difficult at all. All you need is faith, effort and the trust in the final result. Yes, indeed there is some part of me hating him because leaving the family, but I guess the amount of hatred I had to him is the amount I love him. I love him for the way he raised me, brought me up when I was down and even showing indirect guidance to me that is useful in anytime. I was once being rebellious and now I am turning into another person. I ain't so sure if my changing is good or the either way round. But at least I felt positive in my changing. My family and siblings might say I am changing to a cold-blooded person, you can say whatever about me, I don’t really care anymore!!! The present me is, I don’t want to live a life based on judgement of others. I live my life for myself, not for others. Sorry dad once again I might turn up to be a person you might want me to be. In my thinking now, I am getting older as an adult; I need to train myself up to be a better man, a more responsible to my work and action. So, you can’t blame me for being of care less person as I want to live in a life with my own definition of happiness. That is my most comfortable way of living and being the real me. I ain’t so sure how I am going to survive in the “real world”, but I am sure with the knowledge, skills and capability I am achieving now, I can ensure I won’t let you down once again.

May your soul and spirit blessed be!!! ^.^
~Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu~

Love,
~CK~

What's in the box???

Received this 2 days back for my early b'day present, and I wonder what is inside??? So curious and suspicious!!! But not gonna reveal till the day,...
 
That would be 0 days to go,....(17 NOVEMBER 2010!!!)

Real touched to received present such in advance.
 
Thank you!!!


CK ^.^

DAD, I MISS YOU!!!

Hey dad look at me

Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

Just somehow this song always reminds me of my dad. Ya it’s been nine years from now. Last week, 1st Oct was according to the lunar calendar and today is exactly the day. I never want to say this but,…FOR REAL,…

DAD, I MISS YOU!!!

Maybe as everyone and I, myself thought I would have not miss you that much after so many years. But when come to certain times, times when I am really really hopeless not knowing what to do or what step should I take, I just somehow have the drive and energy because of you. The drive to keep going my life because of your last word to me in my dream ‘Take care of mom and the family’,....this what’s keep me going till today. But seriously dad, up to today, I am sorry I am still such a rebellious son, a son who always keep mom worry, a son who might hurt mom with certain words at times. And a son who likes doing something that follows his heart more than his brain. I really hate myself of being so. Guess it is a reason for me to break out from myself for being the good one. I know it is just a crap of reason but always being the one who had to share burden in the family the feel isn’t good at all. I hope after the long sick I had last month makes me realised how rebellious I had turn into and I am starting to regret of being like one. I am trying my best to change all these a little by time. And I promise you that, though I am might not be your perfect son, at least I would realised your hope and dreams of graduating from a university. I will strike for my hardest to the highest possible. Even though this seem far and such a BIG DREAM, but that’s what you gave to me before you leave. A DREAM, a dream for me to go after!!!

THANK YOU DAD!!!,...

Love,
Chee Kien ;-p

Was It Special?

Well been many years my b’day fall on exam period and so do this year where it is the last day of my exam in uni,….and guess what, it was a morning paper and I woke up way late and by the time I got into the exam hall, I left 2 hours of time with 3 hours period of exam,…hahahaahahah 1/3 of the exam time gone,..but anyhow if I had gone early also,..i guess I will be sitting in the exam hall for an hour thinking of the solutions and which questions to do lo,…finish paper by noon and get back to prepare before off to go out,...out to Kuantan with my coursemates,..the A4 group, me, shang qian, Nicholas and phooi keat,..and ya another civil environmental coursemates, chee suan,…...we got at EC Mall quite late,..it was dy late lunch,…and ya went in Black Canyon for lunch,…yup get treat from my dear fellow friends as part of the celebration and so do the movie (2012),…basically I didn’t spent anything at all for this outing,….

THANKS A LOT for the treat, guys!!!

And so are we finished by night and gotta rush back to ump since phooi keat gotta take his night bus back to penang,…dropped shang qian back to his home first then here goes my reckless driving from kuantan to gambang,…it was a crazy ride and quickly drop him at the ump bus stop,..thank god the bus willing to wait for few minutes lo,…and yup me, Nicholas and chee suan went to pack our late dinner from gambang before we are all back to ump,….
Well that’s my day of celebration with lots of happening too,….Was it special??? I have no idea but one special thing for sure,..i gotta to know from my mom before I am back that my bro gonna give me his pair of superb EXPENSIVE shoe as my b’day gift,..guess it is the most EXPENSIVE and memorable present I ever get from him,…Thanks Bro!!!

here's the precious pair of b'day shoe i got!!!

CK ;-p

MoM's b'dAy CeLeBrAtIoN

yup from capsquare to klcc,...and for the first time i guess i am doing sth differently out of all the years on celebrating my mom's b'day,...normally i will buy my mom a present only but this yaer not only i bought her a HUSH PUPPIES shoes as a present but also give a nice dinner treat at CHILLI'S,....well since i been working for 3 months so i have more than enough to do such,..cos normally i go have any extra money to get a an expensive preesent which very usable or last long usage and so do a dinner,....so this year since i had the chance and she ADORES HP shoes plus LOVES CHILLI'S so i come out of the idea of doing both,..giving present and treating her a dinner,...the dinner was SUPERB full,..the steak itself already was very filling plus together with a dessert,...gosh my stomach is about to burst,...hahahahhaha,...ya lastly to my mom;-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!~ may u have stay cheerful all the time

~ may u stay beauty and young always
~ may ur dreams come true, always!

Love,
CK <3

hAppY DaDDy’s DaY!!!

2nd Sunday of Sep of western calendar which equivalent to 15th day of 8th month of lunar calendar (Mooncake Festival) marked the day of Daddy’s day for me. Hahahhaha sounds fun rite since normally ppl celebrate Father’s Day on the 1st Sun of June n yet why mine is 3 months delayed. To cut short the story, recently started to call Kevin Kan as Daddy and some how said this is the date of my Daddy’s Day as I mentioned earlier lol……funny rite???...well hard to explain why I suddenly will call some1 2 years younger than me daddy…but it is all coincidence lol, well guess certain ppl might know the story behind it lol….hahahhahaha…...so wish Daddy Kevin,

~ HAPPY DADDY’S DAY!!! ~

FrOm ur SoN;

ChIcKy KA

hAppY 2nd yEaRs FrIeNdsHiP!!!

2 years back when i celebrated bernard's birthday with some friends, i got to know a friend....well in a way i remember the day we knew each other is because it was bernard's b'day but in a way it was because she really nice to hang out with....she aslo a good listener and trust worthy friend...she is none other than YeOw Li JiA......so fast 2 years had passed n really glad n lucky to know such friend like her and now she is at aussie to further her study so really goonna miss her a lot since rarely gonna have the chance to see her unless she come bak here for sem break...got her a prezzie for her farewell and as well as for our friendship day....hope she will soon become one like the prezzie i gave her....she und wat i mean......so anyway

~ HAPPY 2nd YEARS FRIENDSHIP!!! ~,
li jia.....thanks for being such a nice and supportive friend.....all the best to you

~ fRi3nDs FoReVeR!!! ~


CK ;-p