LoSt!!!

Study week of me in KL coming to an end, tomorrow I am going back to ump, a day earlier before the first paper in preparation physically, mentally and emotionally. 5 days had passed easily just like that once again without realizing.

I thought I will be able to clear off my mind not to think about you, I thought I will be more relax and a space for myself to breathe here but it seems like effortless of me trying so hard to ease things away about you. I kept telling myself to focus, stop thinking about nonsense and about you but what’s the point when I am missing you even more each and every day when I am here. But what’s the point if I able to see you there although I dare not even confess my feelings to you. Every time when I see you, my mouth just couldn’t mumble a single word about my feelings to you. I just got paralyzed by you,….the cheerful and a smile on my face you see always, is just a way of me hiding all these from you. I guess the best time being around with you would be walking under rain. I got this inspiration from a personal message from someone, ‘I love walking under the rain as you would not able to differentiate my tears or rain that drop on my face’,….

Gosh I am gonna go crazy if this situation just keep dragging like this,…..such situation is like me in the deep sea of ocean alone. Not knowing what to do next. Swim or Sink?,….sometimes there is moment I try hard to swim back to the shore because of you, but sometimes I just wish to sink deep into the peaceful blue sea, just like in my facebook's status mind,...really feeling like giving up everything,...in hoping to give myself a peace of mind to forget about you. Perhaps I should really start thinking of letting go that would make my life easier but if I could just do so, easily!!!


CK ;-p