If I LeT U Go!!!

It’s funny, after so many times flow and back from or to ump, this is the first time I didn’t feel blue of coming back to ump,…ermm, maybe because I am just back for exam days and no more classes for weeks coming, that is why I felt relieve and free than before,….or maybe I was kinda busy the moment I stepped into ump, first I gotta attend a CNY committee meeting which apparently didn’t make it on time,..by the time I reached ump, the meeting was over,…and with some other stuffs I need to settle going from one house to another house finding my friends with stuffs, I barely have time to think about you,….

Is not that you aren’t important to me in my heart, but if I don’t keep myself busy doing a lot things I will be thinking of you all the time,…

thinking what you are doing, thinking how is everything going on with you,…just keep thinking,….it’s really suffering keep thinking about these,…

What’s even more funny, I thought coming back here would make me breathless and suffer even more, but somehow I feel so peaceful in both my heart and mind,…even my appetite is back too,..because of you, I lost my appetite but because of you, I gained my appetite back,...

I told a close friend of my, fyee that I am starting to ‘let go’,..indeed I am trying hard,…it’s just a beginning but I dunno if I can really do it,…. GREENERY>>>a fresh start, i hope,....!!!,…that’s what I been hoping for, a fresh start for myself and my feelings towards you,...maybe I treat you like a normal friend perhaps a close/special friend in my heart is easier for me though I am doing so all this while,…so guess this will makes me feel better rather than telling you the truth about my feelings to you that might ruin our friendship,..i dunno if I can stand on of losing another such valuable friendship to me,….

People might wonder what kind of guy of me, not even dare to confess my feelings to you,…what guts do I have when I have feelings to you but don’t even confess,…well the thing is, I guess I really not ready to get into a r’ship. I stumble across darren’s personal message which is really meaningful,….

在你嘗試了解其他人和盼望其他人明白你之前，先把你自己變成一個更好的人和了解你自己。

It’s true, if I not truly deeply understand myself, how I can understand you even more!!! I might know you well personality wise and maybe a bit of your inner self but, before knowing or understand you really deeply, guess I really need to know and understand myself well,..the long searching answer that still in a big ??? in my mind,…


missing you as always!!!,
CK