mIx fRuItS sNoW sAgO

hAppY bIrThDaY dAd!!!

Without realising, it was my dad's birthday today. I hardly celebrate his b'day when he was around. Only way I expressed my gratitude was giving present to him. Now I don't even have the chance to give present to him anymore. Well anyhow,..

Happy Birthday Daddy!!!

Thanks a lot for what you had given and left for me. I am glad you seeded my root strong in hometown and grow harder in KL as my real land. I got my root and I was, I am growing my branches now. Soon I will have my leaves and flower blossom. Till the day I make you proud of who I am, Dad,...

Here's a song I always remind myself of your teaching and guidance in my life before you left,...

So many things
To do and say
But I can't seem
To find my way
But I wanna know how
I know
I'm meant
For something else
But first
I gotta find myself
But I don't know how

Oh, why do
I reach for the stars
When I don't have wings
To carry me that far?

I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world
For me

Sometimes
I don't wanna feel

And forget the pain
Is real

Put my head
In the clouds

Oh, start to run
And then I fall

Thinkin'
I can't get it all
Without my feet
On the ground

There's always a seed
Before there's a rose
The more that it rains
The more I will grow

I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world
For me

Whatever comes
I know how to take it
Learn to be strong
I won't have to fake it
Oh, you're understandin'
The wind can come
And do its best
Blow me north, and south,
East and west
But I'll still
Be standing
I'll be standing

If I have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I'm gonna be
And faith
To take chances
To live like I see
A place in this world

I gotta have
Roots before branches
To know who I am
Before I know
Who I wanna be
And faith

To take chances
And live like I see
A place in this world
For me

 

CK 

I've DecIdEd!!!

Lately, I come across with mixed feeling again. A feeling that I should not emerges out. A feeling that I long forgotten how warm this could feel. But it’s this feeling that had long gone keeps my heart “frozen” for these 2 years.

I keep asking myself if I should have made the step forward. My brain asks me to, but my heart asks me not. I just can’t do it. Making such step need courage and that courage in me was long gone.

Recent I just wrote “In our life we need to have Hope, Faith & Believe. That's how Love exist & create Peace to our life and people around us!!!”

But I have decided, it is best things remain that way. This is for the good of both of us. Till I find my courage to love again, now I can only love my mom and my families unconditionally. However, you will always have an equal important spot like my surrounding close friends. If you need help and support, I will always be there and care for you.


CK

Get It Right!!!

What have I done?

I wish I could run,

Away from this ship going under

Just trying to help

Hurt everyone else

Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

 

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough

And all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions

Keep making a mess of things,

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?

 

Can I start again, with my faith shaken?

Cause I can’t go back and undo this

I just have to stay and face my mistakes,

But if I get stronger and wiser, I’ll get through this

 

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?

And all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take for me to get it right?

 

So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air,

And accept the truth that sometimes life isn’t fair!

Yeah, I’ll send out a wish, yeah, I’ll send up a prayer

And finally someone will see how much I care

 

What can you do when your good isn’t good enough?

And all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things,

I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?

Oh, how many times will it take, to get it right?

To get it right?

 

This song really describe me from in and all out;

Seriously, what have I done? I always doubt myself with such question. My intention on doing anything was purely trying to help, but why in seem ended up hurting everyone else around me?

Am I too stubborn in making decision and action!?

With every action I had taken, I felt thousand tonne of weight is on my shoulders. Just like I am “Angel” and I ain’t supposed to make any mistake or wrong decision. It’s like everything I had done just ain’t good enough for people around me. Whatever situation I’m involved in, things just became worst. As if I am a creature with the ability of “touch of destruction”. With everything I touched, it tumbles down and destructed. That feeling was the worst feeling of all!!!

Sometimes the more I tried to fix, the worst it became.

How many times will it takes? How many times will it take for me to get things right??

Once?
Twice?
Thrice?
Or never?

Why? Why? Why?

Why can’t life be easy on me!?

Let me do what I want and I’m comfortable with. Stop judging me with my actions taken. Although now I would have not care other peoples’ judgment, but still,..I was once that person, a person who so afraid of other peoples’ judgment to the level I felt suffocated.

All I wish is someone out there whom I had helped with good intention and sincere heart will be able to see how much I care for you all,..

 

CK

I'm bAcK!!!

Yes!!! I'm back to my abandoned blog here. Can't recall what is the reason I abandoned the blogging life is. But I'm sure the reason I'm back.
 

I'm back for source of inspiration and motivation. Inspiration and motivation source search not from others but from me and my life.

I had long forgotten every moment I had written down in the blog is the source of inspiration and motivation. The appreciation of moment of my life is what keeps me going on.

Recent semester in final year, too much had happened. Many obstacles happened either from lecturer, study (exam, projects and assignments), course-mates or even roommates.  I had changed myself into the self-protective person. Being ignorance and silence to handle everything, including sleeping for very long hours, the long I mean is REALLY REALLY LONG for a day. I had chosen Forget Everything and Run first type of FEAR. Now it’s time for me to choose to the second type of FEAR (Face Everything and Rise).

I can’t let myself down anymore with all the negative incidents that happened. This recent month just really reminds me that I had long forgotten the lessons of life. Lessons that I knew long before but didn’t realise until now. I had been blinded by my emotion.  

With all the people and things that happened surrounding me recently, it’s important to remind myself once again that;

~ Never expect anything in return (helping in return) when you help others.

~ There are always no true friends or true enemies in life.

~ Do not compare yourself with others EXTREMELY.

~ Ignorance and silence and not commenting any further to certain statement is best way to handle it.

~ Appreciate and treasure with what you have in hand.

~ Believe in karma, believe in “Aal is Well” (Don’t let your heart have the feeling of fear and scared)

~ Have passion (sincere heart) in everything you do.

The list can goes on and on, I shall stop to where those are thinkable at this moment. It’s just a recall to myself that whatever decision and choices that had been made, never regret to it, because there will always be another outcome you would not expect. FEAR (Face Everything and Rise). Trust and believe in myself!!! “Gambatte!!!”

CK ^.^v

Hopes & Dreams (The Hippocratic Crush)

Each of us has dreams in our life. Some of us dreams for ourselves and some of us dreams for others’ satisfaction. But all this while, no one can be sure when these dreams can be achieved. If we are unable to achieve our dreams, should we continue with our determination? When we able to achieve our dreams, it gives happiness even how small the dream is. Life is full of hope once again when we able to achieve our dreams. But sometimes dreams are quite unpredicted, but we can say it is our source of life. It is like oxygen for our survival and our hearts need to have dreams to live life till the fullest. However, life does not come easy, The more hopes we put on our dreams, the more disappointment in return Where else, if there is no dream, there won’t be unnecessary suffering. Maybe dreams might cause suffering, but because of dreams we could able to overcome any obstacles. So, no matter how disappointed or painful we are, we must not lose our faith in dreams. William Shakespeare once wrote, dreams are the only medicine that could heal sorrow and pain. When you are in grief, dreams are like music that eases it away. It is happy moment when we able to achieve our dreams, but at times our dreams conflict with others; therefore we need to make sacrifices of either one.  However, no one but yourself could tell which you should choose. Some dreams might not relate to you. You will not understand why some are willing to sacrifice their life to achieve their dreams that do not have in return. But by using your heart to feel, you will learned to respect each and every dreams does not matter it is a small or big dream. No matters dreams bring you relieve, happiness or sadness, the ability to dream or to dream for is happiness in our life as we are still living in this world. Even no matter how many dreams will be emptied, we still able to find new dreams till the last moment of our life.

 

~On Call 36小時~

At last, I got the news!!! ^.^

Yes,

At last, I got the news!!! ^.^

Got the news for what???

.

.

.

Got the news for my internship.

Received the news this morning. Checked with my faculty/university industrial training unit (Latihan Industri, LI Unit).

Turned out the company already accepted my application in 9th Jan 2012, where the HR Executive had replied to the email to my faculty/university industrial training unit. Only today I received the email from HR Executive regarding this matter. Well, there is no notification from my faculty/university industrial training unit on this. So, guess the HR Executive worry the news got misplaced hence he send the email today to notify me since there is no response from myself yet. 

I'm glad after so many applications sent out finally there is one that responded to my application. 

Without hesitation, I accepted the offer with RM600 as basic allowance.

And yea, the company is construction related since I am in my 3rd year of Civil Engineering course.

The company no other than Shimizu Corporation. It is a Japanese construction company that set up their branch company in Malaysia. Seems like a well-established company since it's been here in Malaysia for 30 years (1982 establishment in Malaysia) and over 200 years establishment in Japan after a quick researched about the company.

CK ;-p

BaRbeQue PaRty @ VaNy's

 

14 Jan 2012

CK ;-p

Warmest Wishes & Best Regards

 

Love,
~CK~

DrAgoNfLy

 

CK ;-p