Thursday, October 24, 2013

LoSt MoMeNtS @,@!!!

I am lost again!!! @,@!!!

I am in a very lost moment ever since last 2 weeks, 10th October. A date that marked 12 years since my dad had gone. Every year when this date approaching, I am totally lost and not knowing if what I had decided is right or wrong. What I had decided is really what I want. I wonder if I still had trauma over his leaving that make me to be more strong and independent rather be someone so dependent on others.

For past 2 weeks, I had been going through mental struggle of to leave or stay the challenge to my current condition. I had numerous breakdowns or even in depression mood during the night before sleep. I kept to myself, knowing my family and siblings will not understand what I really going through and why I feel to quit my current work.


Although I knew eventually I might able to go through such obstacle and challenge, but deep down in my heart, I knew that instinct of telling me to go for what I interest and passion in rather than forcing myself in a condition or environment which is I am so uncomfortable in. I somehow knew God and my dad trying to send message to me to overcome it and be stronger. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” right?

Still I will not give up trying what I want to venture in rather than sitting not doing anything to change my life I want it to be. I believe with determination and faith in my hand, I can shape my own life and story instead of others telling me what to do and to become!!! May luck be by my side and blessed be by God and dad,…


CK  @,@!!!

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